Wednesday, May 09, 2007

BELATED WORLD CUP LINERS

Ok, i know this is way too late, but always expect the unexpected from Moi !! I found this really hilarious!!

8.30am Good morning and welcome to our coverage of the ninth World Cup final. We have all our commentary team in action today, so it will be a mix of me, Martin W, Sriram V, Will L, George B, Jenny T and Siddhartha V. If this was a group stage match we would outnumber the crowd.
8.40am Puddles now forming on the covers ... still raining. " Doom and gloom pervading the echoing stadium," reports Miller. He is a glass-half-empty man on a good day. We will try to ignore him.
8.55am "Stopped raining, but the clouds are still lurking," chirps Miller, happy for about three seconds ... then he says: "Actually, it's just started raining again. That's it, I quit." Another victim of the ICC's never-ending tournament ...
9.07am Andrew Miller: " A big fat lurking cloud that really doesn't like the ICC ... Ok, now this is properly damp now."
9.10am "Ooh, now it's lovely bright sunshine again. This weather is as schizophrenic as my first girlfriend," says the always sensitive Miller. But, in fairness, she was a bit strange.
9.40am Sorry that this is becoming more like the Meteorological Office website ... rain has stopped.
9.45am The charming tournament mascot, Mello, soggy and probably very smelly after seven weeks, is terrorising small children in the stands ...
10.20am If there is no play today, aside from the entire Cricinfo staff resigning, the captains toss again and they play again tomorrow.

10.15am It's
really rather nasty now... and if we don't start soon then Percy Sonn may start singing. We have eaten the entire day's biscuit supply already. The covers, meanwhile, are as stuck in place as Will's hand in his pocket when it comes to buying a drink. "I'm not tight," objects Will, before admitting that he has not bought anyone a beer since Sri Lanka last held the World Cup.
11.05am Very bad language from many sitting near me as the covers come back on.

10.55am And the cover comes off ... that's been the highlight of the fun so far today.
11.15am Covers on, drizzle in the air. The corporate guests have now been inside their air-conditioned and booze-laden boxes for three hours. Even if the match starts today, none of them are likely to notice. Gnasher suggests they have only increase the volume to drown out the sound of Percy Sonn belting out "My Way" in the ICC bolt hole.
11.45am "At least the raindrops have been musical," says a bored Andrew Miller. "The one dripping next to me fits the soca rhythm very nicely ..."
Stay with it ...We are told that there is a row brewing in India where people are angry because Mandira Bedi is sporting a saree that has different flags stitched on it ... and the Indian flag was near her feet and that is supposed to be an insult. What on earth else can go wrong today?
11.35am Our man on the spot says now the rain is really heavy and he has seen signs of people building lifeboats. I suspect the weather has got to him, but he doesn't reckon there is much chance of the game starting today. And he is usually relentlessly optimistic. So while there was the will to get underway up to the last hour, that's diminishing faster than the booze in the ICC president's box.Meanwhile, Mandira Bedi has changed her saree ...