Tuesday, October 02, 2007
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
BELATED WORLD CUP LINERS
Ok, i know this is way too late, but always expect the unexpected from Moi !! I found this really hilarious!!
8.30am Good morning and welcome to our coverage of the ninth World Cup final. We have all our commentary team in action today, so it will be a mix of me, Martin W, Sriram V, Will L, George B, Jenny T and Siddhartha V. If this was a group stage match we would outnumber the crowd.
8.40am Puddles now forming on the covers ... still raining. " Doom and gloom pervading the echoing stadium," reports Miller. He is a glass-half-empty man on a good day. We will try to ignore him.
8.55am "Stopped raining, but the clouds are still lurking," chirps Miller, happy for about three seconds ... then he says: "Actually, it's just started raining again. That's it, I quit."
Another victim of the ICC's never-ending tournament ...
9.07am Andrew Miller: " A big fat lurking cloud that really doesn't like the ICC ... Ok, now this is properly damp now."
9.10am "Ooh, now it's lovely bright sunshine again. This weather is as schizophrenic as my first girlfriend," says the always sensitive Miller. But, in fairness, she was a bit strange.
9.40am Sorry that this is becoming more like the Meteorological Office website ... rain has stopped.
9.45am The charming tournament mascot, Mello, soggy and probably very smelly after seven weeks, is terrorising small children in the stands ...
10.20am If there is no play today, aside from the entire Cricinfo staff resigning, the captains toss again and they play again tomorrow.
10.15am It's
really rather nasty now... and if we don't start soon then Percy Sonn may start singing. We have eaten the entire day's biscuit supply already. The covers, meanwhile, are as stuck in place as Will's hand in his pocket when it comes to buying a drink. "I'm not tight," objects Will, before admitting that he has not bought anyone a beer since Sri Lanka last held the World Cup.
11.05am Very bad language from many sitting near me as the covers come back on.
10.55am And the cover comes off ... that's been the highlight of the fun so far today.
11.15am Covers on, drizzle in the air. The corporate guests have now been inside their air-conditioned and booze-laden boxes for three hours.
Even if the match starts today, none of them are likely to notice. Gnasher suggests they have only increase the volume to drown out the sound of Percy Sonn belting out "My Way" in the ICC bolt hole.
11.45am "At least the raindrops have been musical," says a bored Andrew Miller. "The one dripping next to me fits the soca rhythm very nicely ..."
Stay with it ...We are told that there is a row brewing in India where people are angry because Mandira Bedi is sporting a saree that has different flags stitched on it ... and the Indian flag was near her feet and that is supposed to be an insult. What on earth else can go wrong today?
11.35am Our man on the spot says now the rain is really heavy and he has seen signs of people building lifeboats. I suspect the weather has got to him, but he doesn't reckon there is much chance of the game starting today. And he is usually relentlessly optimistic. So while there was the will to get underway up to the last hour, that's diminishing faster than the booze in the ICC president's box.Meanwhile, Mandira Bedi has changed her saree ...
8.30am Good morning and welcome to our coverage of the ninth World Cup final. We have all our commentary team in action today, so it will be a mix of me, Martin W, Sriram V, Will L, George B, Jenny T and Siddhartha V. If this was a group stage match we would outnumber the crowd.
8.40am Puddles now forming on the covers ... still raining. " Doom and gloom pervading the echoing stadium," reports Miller. He is a glass-half-empty man on a good day. We will try to ignore him.
8.55am "Stopped raining, but the clouds are still lurking," chirps Miller, happy for about three seconds ... then he says: "Actually, it's just started raining again. That's it, I quit."
Another victim of the ICC's never-ending tournament ...9.07am Andrew Miller: " A big fat lurking cloud that really doesn't like the ICC ... Ok, now this is properly damp now."
9.10am "Ooh, now it's lovely bright sunshine again. This weather is as schizophrenic as my first girlfriend," says the always sensitive Miller. But, in fairness, she was a bit strange.
9.40am Sorry that this is becoming more like the Meteorological Office website ... rain has stopped.
9.45am The charming tournament mascot, Mello, soggy and probably very smelly after seven weeks, is terrorising small children in the stands ...
10.20am If there is no play today, aside from the entire Cricinfo staff resigning, the captains toss again and they play again tomorrow.
10.15am It's
really rather nasty now... and if we don't start soon then Percy Sonn may start singing. We have eaten the entire day's biscuit supply already. The covers, meanwhile, are as stuck in place as Will's hand in his pocket when it comes to buying a drink. "I'm not tight," objects Will, before admitting that he has not bought anyone a beer since Sri Lanka last held the World Cup.
11.05am Very bad language from many sitting near me as the covers come back on.
10.55am And the cover comes off ... that's been the highlight of the fun so far today.
11.15am Covers on, drizzle in the air. The corporate guests have now been inside their air-conditioned and booze-laden boxes for three hours.
Even if the match starts today, none of them are likely to notice. Gnasher suggests they have only increase the volume to drown out the sound of Percy Sonn belting out "My Way" in the ICC bolt hole. 11.45am "At least the raindrops have been musical," says a bored Andrew Miller. "The one dripping next to me fits the soca rhythm very nicely ..."
Stay with it ...We are told that there is a row brewing in India where people are angry because Mandira Bedi is sporting a saree that has different flags stitched on it ... and the Indian flag was near her feet and that is supposed to be an insult. What on earth else can go wrong today?
11.35am Our man on the spot says now the rain is really heavy and he has seen signs of people building lifeboats. I suspect the weather has got to him, but he doesn't reckon there is much chance of the game starting today. And he is usually relentlessly optimistic. So while there was the will to get underway up to the last hour, that's diminishing faster than the booze in the ICC president's box.Meanwhile, Mandira Bedi has changed her saree ...
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
It's psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I'll get a saw
When life gives U lemons, take some tequila & salt & shot glass & slam one back!! I need something stronger than lemonade !!
There are funeral hats, bday hats, clown hats n so forth.but the most tiresome i found in my experience was the Chef's hat.
I substituted as a waitress at a get-together a while back, when the papparazi clicked away to glory!!
I aint a chef!! There, it’s out in the open!! I cook & experiment only on my family and friends as witnesses will testify!
On returning from India in feb, I hired a cook/maid to help get my laziness back in shape and size!!
Maid 1
She wasn’t from my part of the state, so, she didn’t know how to cook our stuff, our way. & apparently, she didn’t know to cook vegetables either! She actually cuts the drumsticks in half, scrapes off the mid portion!! Y would anyone do that to a drumstick?? There's bird flu threat here, so, I never bought chicken or egg & I didn’t dare try out her fish!!
So, v silently suffered for a month!
Next maid was the maid 1's roomate, apparently a keralite.
Reasons y maid 2 didnt make the cut...
She couldn’t speak Malayalam & her English was broken. She didn’t know how to cook basic mallu food. She then proceeded to make drumstick curry and ladies finger curry in the srilankan style! It was the day ‘Srilanka’ defeated ‘India’ at the ‘World Cup’!
Turns out she’s a Srilankan, stayed in Kerala for a month. Her roommate never figured it out!! I have nothing against Srilankan food, honestly! I’ve never had it before to compare it with. But for some reason, its all Yellow! Be it the curd curry, the potato fry, the ladies finger curry, the white potato stew or a brown chicken curry or white pulao! All YELLOW!!
Mom’s come, so Good food on go again, but turns out I cant eat a few of the items!!
"When Life gives U lemons, wing it right back and add some lemons of ur own"...Calvin
There are funeral hats, bday hats, clown hats n so forth.but the most tiresome i found in my experience was the Chef's hat.
I substituted as a waitress at a get-together a while back, when the papparazi clicked away to glory!!
I aint a chef!! There, it’s out in the open!! I cook & experiment only on my family and friends as witnesses will testify!
On returning from India in feb, I hired a cook/maid to help get my laziness back in shape and size!!
Maid 1
She wasn’t from my part of the state, so, she didn’t know how to cook our stuff, our way. & apparently, she didn’t know to cook vegetables either! She actually cuts the drumsticks in half, scrapes off the mid portion!! Y would anyone do that to a drumstick?? There's bird flu threat here, so, I never bought chicken or egg & I didn’t dare try out her fish!!
So, v silently suffered for a month!
Next maid was the maid 1's roomate, apparently a keralite.
Reasons y maid 2 didnt make the cut...
She couldn’t speak Malayalam & her English was broken. She didn’t know how to cook basic mallu food. She then proceeded to make drumstick curry and ladies finger curry in the srilankan style! It was the day ‘Srilanka’ defeated ‘India’ at the ‘World Cup’!
Turns out she’s a Srilankan, stayed in Kerala for a month. Her roommate never figured it out!! I have nothing against Srilankan food, honestly! I’ve never had it before to compare it with. But for some reason, its all Yellow! Be it the curd curry, the potato fry, the ladies finger curry, the white potato stew or a brown chicken curry or white pulao! All YELLOW!!
Mom’s come, so Good food on go again, but turns out I cant eat a few of the items!!
"When Life gives U lemons, wing it right back and add some lemons of ur own"...Calvin
Monday, March 26, 2007
i, Hereby Bequest...
On Aug 2nd1990, when the country was being invaded, all it meant to me was that I couldn’t go for my swimming classes. So, if I were to drown in a Puddle, Pond, Lake, Sea or an Ocean, U know Sadam Hussien’s to blame!!
When I was in 12th, the rumors had sprung up of bio-chemical war. Our house was the only one which didn’t have a sealed room with black taped windows. I remember panicking one day and packed all my belongings into a single draw, which would b easy to take if the war broke out!! The only positive thing was that v might have had to write our board exams in Russia!!
Now, the rumors are alive again !! Obviously, I cant delve into the matter or they’d b arresting me, deporting or worse, ban blogging here!!
So, i'll just go about my business and make my Will, though most of my belongings are here with me, naturally!! So, out wit a few of my prized possessions.
- My Harvey’s Bristol sherry is to be taken by Anju, who can share with Kavitha if the need arises for Anju!!
- Video & Audio casstees to be thrown.
- Books open to any takers. Danielle Steel’s ‘Jewels’ to Kavitha, as she hates it or return 2 Divya!
- Albums to be sorted n each one can take their own embarrassing snaps or burn it along with my letters and cards. Wedding album to my in-laws.
- My sarees, jewels to my sister, which she will take anyway.
- My money to be divided by my 2 little brothers, to buy Video Ipod, get the bike fixed n roaming & a Lamborghini or two!!
- With the money in my bank, please get me the 7th Harry porter novel and bury it in my memorial[I better Have 1]( without whispering the story 2 me).
- Get the baby slam books for all my pals when they become new mothers!!
- & Anju, hey, I got u a sphinx candle statue which I couldn’t give then, so please take it!!
- Kavitha, take "something blue" from whatever is left behind for ‘ something blue, something old, something borrowed’ 'something new' I already gave u.
Thats all for now!!
Sunday, February 25, 2007
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